Thursday, December 18, 2008
The End of Neo-Con Christo-Corporo Fascism
I normally don't post straight-up articles here on CG - but I had to get this into my mis-informed fellow Nieuwe Braunschweig blogger over at Burton Front's brain while sparing the readers of QSLS Politics of the constant religious bull$hittery.
Anselm - this one's going out to you!
- Dan F.
America Needs a New Religion: Let’s Pick a Pantheon!
By John Dolan - December 2008
Now that services have ended at the First National Church of Crawford, Texas, it’s clear America needs a new religion. Not to nitpick, but it could be argued that rule by the most loudly born-again or, as scholars call it, Screechocracy, was not a success.
That’s not to say we can hope for an improvement by veering leftward, into one or another version of softcore Buddhism, as recovering Christians tend to do. Let’s face it: Buddhism has some nice statues and incense, but it’s no fun at all. Indeed, adopting that most dismally mature of religions means giving up forever on the idea of getting any fun out of existence. That’s the whole message of Buddhism.
And a fun pantheon is what America wants right now, to get everyone’s mind off that Visa envelope sitting like an anthrax package on the hall table. That’s why it’s time to drop the whole grim monotheism narrative and go back to polytheism—because if you want fun, you need a bigger, wackier cast of characters. When Bill Murray said, in Groundhog Day, “I’m A God; I’m not THE God,” he was on the right track. We need to stop fooling with the singular, upper-case God and shop for a nice set of lower-case gods. And goddesses, because the first benefit of polytheism is, as they say, diversity.
Luckily, the one thing the monstrous corpse-dump of human history has generated in profusion is weird, interesting gods. We may as well recycle the bastards, because they’re already paid for in blood, ignorance and misery. We’ll never know how many goats, birthmark-free children, twins, clubfeet, cattle, slaves, prisoners and other surplus beings have been killed in their names, but you can be sure it’s a number big enough to ensure some good old Lord of the Flies creepiness to any god-gang you choose. They’ll do the job. It’s just a matter of picking the right crew. So here is a quick survey of some enticing, unemployed, desirable pantheons, with quick summaries of their strong points and defects as future objects of urban worship: